I would not say that my mind is totally absent. I’d like to say, I go off into other lands in my mind from time to time. My attention is called elsewhere. I drift – I am on a sail. And sometimes that happens in the middle of Zoom calls when I’m expected to listen or asked to speak to a little whole on my computer screen. Forgive me in advance.
I drift and I’ve done this all my life – so I really can’t blame technology’s dings and notifications for not focusing on certain things. I don’t need the ping or buzz to know what time it is- I have an internal clock- (although the timer on Insight is a delight). I surprise myself with my own intuition. When a person close to me is on my mind, I can expect to see them or some sign of them soon. I do stay peacefully busy and sometimes even that can be too much.
In the most recent years, I have implemented into my life an entire day or hours in a day of “dreaming” during my week. Otherwise, I get overwhelmed. The drifting keeps me freed up, in addition to meditation and all the other tricks to a healthy and sound mind.
“I’ve lost my mind, feels so good to love this way again!”
I was going to take that line out of my song Euphoria – written one Sunday afternoon in the sanctuary pews. I thought it was silly and dangerous to be out of the mind as a woman. But I kept those lyrics and I did so because I knew that my world was calling for a reprieve from the miserable life I was living. I had to leave my mind in order to breathe.
I used to get called out for this behavior; however, being absent of the mind is something that has been a real quality in my artistry. I’m still learning to let it happen and it is easy when I’m reading, sometimes writing or describing life in a song. Being absent of the mind allows me to create beauty, and that is my job. So if you see me floating in and out of the mundane, never mind it, I’m just working.